” It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas!”
A saw a pale face look back at me in the mirror this morning. Lady, you need a day off!
It’s the pre-Christmas season and catching up with friends, family adventures, shopping, packing, cooking, decorating, planning, cleaning, more planning and negotiating are in full swing. Black Friday deals yell at me, unsolicited. Neighbouring houses turn into a Disneyland extravaganza with sparkling reindeer prancing on the neatly trimmed lawns. The shops are overstuffed with food that has just doubled in price.
I also love Christmas, so much that I start worrying about it as the calendar clicks over to December 1st. What can I buy? What special things can I give the grandkids? What food can I make? How can I become involved/ contribute? I see my family working so hard with young children how can I make it easier for them? Then there’s my friend who’ll be alone on Christmas Day. Her children live overseas. How can I help? Another friend is grieving after her husband’s death earlier this year. How can I help her enjoy Christmas? Now there’s no quest for Sainthood here. As older people loss, grief, immobility, pain, loneliness can characterise our ” Golden Years.” But ironically, the joy of Christmas also gives focus to the many people in our orbit who are lonely, in need or in pain.
In the midst of all this Christmas joviality, expenditure and seasonal frenzy how do we maintain perspective, a sense of balance and enjoy the Christmas season without overspending, over-worrying and over – exertion? Here are four ideas you may like to explore
Fix Your Thinking First– Most brains needs a reset at Christmas time so we can all relax and enjoy the celebration. What is the most important thing about having a lovely time at Christmas? It might be simply having family and friends to share it with. It might be having a simple, calm day. It might be time to adventure to new places and experiences. Essentially, if you strip away the noise Christmas is one day. Keep firmly in your mind what is most important about this day. Keep coming back to the essence, the mantra, the most important thing.
Keep Boundaries Clear – We want to do the right thing, be useful, help out, share our wisdom, not be a burden and make it easier for everyone. Ironically, it’s not the time to be in full force helping mode. Offer your help once and then step back and wait. Offer to make 2 salads and the Pav. If there’s no reply from family or friends, just wait. Work with their timing not yours. We suspect our friend will be lonely this Christmas. We all want to be kind and helpful but sometimes people are not ready to receive help. It’s not the time. Offer and then step back. We are all different. A dear friend told me ” This Christmas I want to be alone. I don’t have the energy for family and celebrations. I’m not lonely or depressed. I just want to cook a simple meal, go for a long walk at the beach and have an afternoon nap. In the evening I’ll have a glass of wine, chat to family and watch ” Love Actually” for the 45th time.”
Keep it Simple – There are no perfect presents. We all have too much stuff. Buy experiences. Make things. Recycle. Do we really need all that food? What about good quality delicious food served without excess. Simple abundance.
Plan for Calm – In the weeks leading up to Christmas the diary is usually packed with appointments and events. This year I’m having 1-2 days a week of Nothing. Void. Blank Space. To do what I feel like doing that day. It may involve reading, walking, a long bath. Music will always feature as will meditation. Painting, writing even baking can be calming if you create the right atmosphere. Ditch social media for your nurturing day. Find stillness. Live mindfully. Refill the tank with music, nature, calm the racing monkey mind. Find your centre again.
In the storm and excitement of this Christmas arrive anchored and calm, ready to give your best self to others. The best present you can offer.